Today is the third week since Yee Pak left us.
Today, again one of those days, that I feel an overwhelming sense of grief.
Just the mere fact of doing something ordinary like laundry, set me off crying this morning. I was loading the dirty clothes into our front-loading washing machine. I was kneeling in front of the machine. That brought back memories of the time he was here.
I remembered the day he was just sitting in front of my washing machine, watching it spin. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was trying to figure out how a front-loading washing machine can clean that much clothes with so little water. So I sat next to him and explained. From there, we had a conversation about washing machines. Nothing important. The whole conversation was about Nothing really. But we spent a good twenty minutes sitting there just talking.
Today, I sat in front of the washing machine a little longer. I imagined him there with me again. I felt a massive wave of sadness wash over me.
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Grandma wanted to mark the third week of his departure by gathering all in the family and some very close friends to a dinner. Nearly 50 people (children included) attended and it was a good gathering. It was Grandma's way of expressing her appreciation for those who have rendered assistance during this period of bereavement. The occasion also let her feel the affection and love that is being bestowed by everyone who knew her. I think it will take quite a while for her to overcome the distress on the loss of her most filial son!
TAI PAK
In KL we remembered your Yee Pak's posthumous third week with a dinner. According to your grandma, this is tradition. Anyway, I found it hard to sleep after the dinner because it invoked memories of events of his last four to six weeks. I thought about the people who visited him at home and in hospital. People came by word of mouth because your Yee Pak had kept everything secret. One of his former colleagues(I have already forgotten his name) told me your Yee Pak taught him a lot about work in the bank and about life. His former art teacher who was on a break from an art show in Germany also came. He told me about your Yee Pak's works in water colour which were displayed at his wake. One distinguished gentleman who was a top architect said they spent time listening to classical music. I was privileged to have met all these genuine and caring people. I remembered how happy your Yee Pak was seeing your grandma in the hospital. I recall his joy during his phone conversation with you all. I remembered him telling me to have bird's nest for dinner when I asked his advice for food. And I really did.
Shakespeare once wrote "The good that men do is oft interred with their bones". I am sure we will not let that happen.
Dr Chow.
Yee Pak and his brother Richard will be always treasured in our mind and heart.
On Monday,I had the last medical checkup for this year.While waiting for the Doc',I stumbled to a german article about "resilienz"(resilience in english.All these years I knew that I was a resilient person but I unfortunately did not know the word and the mental science behind it.So I used words like to be solid,competent and straight forward!But like a german saying goes,"one is not too old to learn and knowledge has no ending!Thus my hunger for wisdom had aroused in me everytime I become older.
In the state of adverse conditions,I could always recover quite easily and in a short time,back to business as usual.It does not mean I deliberately try to forget(in fact impossible!),but I always refuse to fall into depression.When the mind is weak the body will tenderly decay by itself!(alcohol,drug abuse etc).
I have many hobbies,dreams and hopes to inflate my self-esteem!
So I hope,in times of sadness,we should treasure all the precious memories,but do not fall into depression.This is not what Yee Pak want.
Vincent has put it so nicely. In fact, Dr Chow had already jotted down some of the precious memories on his observations during those crucial moments when illness took the better of Yee Pak. I am deeply touched by the sincerity and genuineness of all his former colleagues, classmates, the Tai-chi exponents, the Qi-gong friends and all those who knew him. He particularly enjoyed the company of true friends and their visit in batches did bring a lot of comfort to Yee Pak. And the most meaningful and most appreciated by Yee Pak was the visit by the ones so dear to him from Darwin. At every opportunity, the tiny Alyssa would stand behind Yee Pak’s chair and silently kept close to Yee Pak. I find this most touching. Yee Pak had planned some lunches and dinners to gather the various groups together just for one more do. It is regrettable that some of the planned gatherings did not materialise. But I am sure all his friends and associates would cherish the fond memories of Yee Pak. All said and done, Yee Pak did live a full and meaningful life! He has left a legacy of filial piety and goodness of heart and will be remembered by all.
TAI PAK
One of my hobbies is intellectual information and for those who also have the same appetite like me,here is one to satisfy our hunger.
Edgar Hernandez,patient zero in Wikipedia.
To get a faster access to Wiki,click only to Edgar Hernandez.Then to 2009 swine flu and we will be in a scientific journey.
I'm not trying to promote the German TV or the language or being a german patriot.I'm just a liberal kampong boy,who for a decade,"lost path" and trying to find my way back to "school".
And I had found one teacher that I have the highest respect.He is Ranga Yogeshwar.His programme in the german TV is not only interesting but very exciting.
Last Tuesday's lesson in TV was the history of the "internet",etc.Do not worry,thanks to the internet,we have a "replay" in the "Web TV".I hope there is an english translation for his programme.(Quarks & Co-WDR Fernsehen).Why is he exciting?He explains everything,even about the financial crisis,bad banks,hedge fonds etc even about animals,almost anything that we had came across.Just check out his Awards!
Wiki him and you're on a scientific "brain holidays"!
My teacher once told us in PJ,"nobody is born stupid in this world,he either lack interest or lack access to educational information,due to poverty".
If we have the "Tool" today,we should make use of it.
And it will also help us to bounce back!,like "killing two birds with only one stone".
Many times I had asked myself,why must all the good persons depart so early?Leaving us only sad memories of them.Everytime I looked out my kitchen window,I can still imagine Richard squatting there talking to a boy/girl and next to a tree.Today the tree is bigger and between the pole that bears the road's name(2 meters high)and the tree,parks a small car daily.
It was way back in 1984 nearing Christmas.Richard asked me,"Chong,is that person a boy or a girl?".I could not answer him.In my mind,I was wondering in what language they were using in their conversation and which subject.
I had seen this boy/girl a few years ago,going for a walk with a dog.Even at that time I could not predict that person's identity.Although an adult,that person still look like a small boy or a girl in his/her teens.
I'm not referring to "pondans and tomboys"!This unique person,when you think he is a boy he is a boy.And when you think she is a girl,she is a girl!.Even Richard was fully confused.
Never mind this incident.Sometimes when you remember a person and recall the other person,will bring back wonderful and precious memories,like an ancient treasure.
I was watching "Funeral" a 3 minute clip from the late Jasmin Ahmad in Youtube.
And I thought to myself,memories is like a Life saving bank of our mind in our brains!
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